Addicted to Falling in Fairytale Love

Updated: Jul 15, 2020

The easiest place for humans to give away their self-love practice, sovreignty, and potential for spiritual integration lies in our learned fantasization of an “other” who will save us from ourselves.


Relationships of resonance are places to learn to see where a let ourselves fall through the cracks of our potential for inner-union, and into someone else who we think will be the end all be all escape from our responsibility to learn to truly love ourselves.


While these are places to have our heartsbroken and lose ourselves to see where we have gaps of unsconisciousness in our self-love, They are also conversly places where we can recall aspects of ourselves long kept repressed within our unconsciousness, and learn to sovreignly celebrate them in the world as we open up to intimacy beyond fixations of learned meaning attached to the idea of our incompleteness- and recall that these reflections have also always been within as we feel into what feels resonant and alive, moment by moment, with lesser and lesser mental projection and expectation for label and future outcome.


There is a new paradigm of relating awakening, that we are paving the way for through trial and error.


You don’t have to abandon yourself for an other.


Some call this rising in love.


I can’t say it’s relevant or looks the same for everyone, but for me it feels like an important exploration to keep digging and opening up to- which has only revealed immaculate opportunity for truly nourishing, lasting connections and frienships with “lovers”, that have only served to bring us all deeper into our sovreignty and purposes of service in this world.


There is nothing wrong with letting love lead the way when those butterflys are triggered by an other. Let us KEEP humbly saying YES to love though, even as it asks us go within, to honor and become more intimate with the places wherein we’ve unknowingly left ourselves behind chasing the idea of someone else.


I’m a romantic mothalovin Taurus. My path however has demanded I prioritize a no-BS relationship with self above all else, and utilize my attractions and weavings with others to see where I can show up even deeper from this place of love towards myself and the world- never wavering from my intention to enhance my capacity to serve as a reflection of spiritual freedom on behalf of all finding their ever-present inner beloved.


And yet we allign with people and walk the path of outer relating to serve this holographic play of love in the world, with mirrors that help us see and know ourselves deeper.


Yet I see a path wherein two beings are commited to themselves first and foremost, and grow together without attachment to whether the requires their relationship to look this way, or a completely new way that defies immature visions of romance void of sovreignty.


It’s a tricky and mysterious path that will show you where you falter from true devotion to love in it’s ultimate state, in exchange for the illusorily sold images of infatuation, unconscious lust, disney projection, co-dependency, and cop-out from the inner work.


Yet commiting to this path sincerely promises liberation from all distortions in the dynamics that birthed and raised this sick world of those seeking and projecting their need to be deeply aquainted with their own hearts onto others.


When we see the longing for union being essentially resolved within, we meet each other as reflections to assist us in this remembrance, without sacrificing or compromising our repressed counter-polarity (masculine or feminine) within ourselves.


Without shackeling our capacity to mature in our capacity to grow in love to the mental projection of an “other” who we think we NEED to be with us in a certain way in order to complete us.


There is no shame in the desire for love. It is our nature. Togetherness is our truth.

Vulnerable and couragous exploration is crucial.


And so is consistently checking in, to make sure we haven’t abandoned our own starving dimensions in a quest to be fulfilled by someone we percieve has what we essentially lack.


I’m positive powerful partnership is possible. I just don’t believe we have to give our power away in order to find it.


To me, self-love is in no way exclusive of love of others, as I know in truth that All is the Self, and expirience in my life that truly loving myself is allowing myself to authentically explore my curiosity towards intimacy with those I feel resonance towards, rather then supressing my social nature.


I’m just becoming more and more clear overtime in seeing the stories my mind and the mind of the one i’m sharing intimacy with can loop around one another (based on learned models of the romantic image / definition we have been told will complete us), which can cause us to lose our sense of intimacy and embodiment within our selves, due to the unconscious belief that this person will eternally save us from the places wherein we have learned to feel we are inherently lacking and incapable of realizing fulfillment through masculine / femine balancing and self-love within.


I believe this is one of the most potent distractions and blind-spots many have in giving away our responsibility to learn how to best actualize soul sovreignty through the constant universal invitation for inner-union, and also takes away from the authentic expirience of the ever-dynamic dance of love and intimacy authentically asking to happen between the self and other- which I believe at the end of the day, is always here to more deeply serve our sense of connection and intimacy with ourselves, via the other as reflection and permissiom in life’s play of seeming seperate bodies. A play that is eternally liberated in the zero point of the moment, rather then confined to the mind’s learned belief in a lacking that we must project an attachment onto someone to fill. My wisdom tells me this is essentially impossible, as at the end of the day, this is all between Self and Self.


So I personally celebrate intimacy with others- only no longer wish to live in constant hope of finding a “one” outside of me, as my expirience tells me this is an outdated model that takes one away from knowing themselves as that one unconditonally, no matter the scenerio.


This is my personal priority for this life, and I honor how expiriencing love with others helps me to more deeply embody and live out my hearts true expression.


But I no longer choose to give away my power by waiting or hoping for someone to complete me – as my inner-knowing tells me that my path is to awaken from this illusion as it applies to my personal journey.


Also, the typical structure of monogamy simply does not feel resonant for my life.


But to each their own, as my souls path of choice is not the only one, and of course there are many ways to be in different kinds of relationship without enabeling the unconscious tendency for self-abandonment in the process, which I have faith that alot of embodied souls are dancing the evolution of our species into.




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Adionai Adama

adionaiadama@gmail.com