Bonkers

Sometimes the meditation is getting really present to the moment, and going into stillness and silence...





And sometimes the meditation is arrogantly abandoning time all together, saying “fuck it”, and fully diving into whatever wild, care-free adventure or expression is most alive and exciting.


These past few days, weeks, months, years - have been full of this medicine for me, as I have been reclaiming, holding sacred, and exercizing the cosmic clown in me. The fool. The outragous performer.


Before all my energy collapsed in on itself via insecurity and loneliness in High School - I was the class clown my whole life. The crazy, couragous, care-free wild child (who’s world later became grey due to not feeling permission to fully express my true colors in a constipatedly conformist culture).


And I am constantly remembering to reach through the edges of my contraction, stagnancy, and arrogance around how put together, responsible, or serious I “should” be - and allow life to tease me out of my safe little hiding place of predicitability.


And it cannot be stressed how blessed I am amidst a culture of such paralyzing, isolating fear - which encouragous so many of us to hide behind these walls, where we become compressed and suffocated by our mental walls and stories of self-consciousness...


To be choosing to open the gift of life in a way that’s been allowing me share in this precious time with others. To be making new friends left and right and out and in - and truly living, playing, and celebrating with them.


I share this to let those who have been cut off from a more social, celebratory life (and might be secretly going a bit crazy inside) that YOU’RE NOT CRAZY.


I mean You Are... and we have to embrace that if we hope to truly stay sane during this time.


But I mean you’re not crazy - in the sense that it is literally fucking ridiculous to live in a way where it is taboo to fully and freely be in community - and expect that to be healthy in anyway.


I write this to assure you - I would be going nuts if I didn’t trust and make myself available to be tickled bylifes absurdity, and used as an instrument to take any opportunity I recieve to sing, dance, and leap into some new adventure or spontaneous self expression.


There will be so much healing work to be done once this “lockdown” has been lifted, and we realize how deeply locked down our minds and bodies have been on the overflowing river of light, creativity, and expression moving as energy from our soul.


When imprisoned - this energy becomes self-destructive, manipulative, and harmful.


So for now - my prayer is for you all to sieze every opportunity you can to embrace your inner wild-weirdo - and just fucking PLAY.


Give the day and the chronic wedgie of seriousness conditioned into this life one big giant FUCK IT for a moment - and not in the sense of doing some stupid shit to get wasted, or harm your body...


But just to play. To be silly. To break out of the box.


To enjoy.


Because it’s when we forget this essential way that the universe is trying to express through us in this great improvisational show - beyond rhyme or reason...


Is when we go Insane


Rather then remember that life is always bursting beyond precious boxes of definition


And as that one person embraces their inner Fool - this open space before us all becomes a bit more accessible to maneuvour spontaneously and authentically - in a way that is truly enjoyably embodied, immidiatly innovative, and playfully pure.


Lifes about balance - and just like we can use “a good time” to numb or bypass the deeper emotions we may be covering up in the culture... equally so, we cannot be fully present to our full spectrum and the precious weight of being human - if we don’t “enlighten up”.

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